Enough

What I want to know today is, why is it so hard for me to trust that Jesus is the source of the abundant life? I find myself caught in a rut, not really knowing what's going on with me. Why do I feel so hum drum? What happened to the abundant life? I know God didn't go anywhere, and that means - that I did. And so I know, I KNOW that it's me. I'm finding it hard to trust that Jesus is offering me life? Why do I go after things that ultimately do not fulfill?

Right now I'm feeling lonely. I know that I can't expect to have a million friends after only living in Austin for a short time. But, still, I yearn for good, deep friendships. Looking back on my week, I've fed that loneliness with everything but God. I've watched a lot of tv. I've cleaned the house a lot. I've eaten too much, and read my Bible way too little. Deep inside, I know what I'm doing. I'm caught. I look to people, tv, food, being busy....to fill me up. It's never enough though. Why aren't the things in this world ever enough?

In John 14:8, the disciple Philip says something so important to Jesus. He says, "Lord, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us."

Jesus replies, "Don't you know me Phillip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me, has seen the Father."

The things in this world are never enough - because they were never meant to be. It was supposed to be enough for Adam and Eve to walk in perfect relationship with God. Through sin, that perfect relationship was messed up. And that's why its so hard for me to trust Jesus. I'm struggling with the same things now that they struggled with then. In my flesh, sometimes I just really don't believe that God is for me. That he wants my best. That he offers abundant life....and I keep eating deadly fruit...

All that stuff - food, tv, cleaning the house, friends - none are bad things. But when I use them as a counterfeit for the one thing that can truly fill me up - intimate relationship with the Father - that's when they become instruments of sin. Wow, my friends can be instruments for me to sin? They can when I make them idols over my relationship with Christ.

"I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly!" ~ John 10:10~

Will I believe him? Will you?

This week - I'm focusing my heart and my prayers on filling my longings with the God of the universe. I'll call it an experiment in being truly fulfilled. :-) I pray that you too, are encouraged to turn away from the worthless things of this world, and turn to the God who loves you infinitely.